Always Left Her This Way
by Dreaming-Of-A-Nightmare
Summary: He always left her this way, depressed and alone. .:.:. a oneshot. mainly MaruMine, but also one-sided SorMine. angst with a little fluff, and twisted forms of loving someone. CoM timeline, of 'course. R&R is appriciated.


He always seemed to leave her this way: depressed and alone, sometimes even crying. He meant to love, meant to hurt, meant to manipulate, and meant to take control. It was his nature, really: to be a twisted vine of roses, sharp and thorny, yet beautiful and full of grace. He killed you slowly in a sweet, delicate way. That's just how he is. And his name suits him; _Marluxia. _

She never got mad at him for leaving her broken the way he did. As much as she wished for Sora, found comfort in the memories she found in him, and longed to meet him, he was not hers. And she knew that. So although her nonexistent heart truly loved Sora, she still found herself loving another, but in a chastising way. Yes, 'chastising' was a good word for the sort of love she felt: punishing (if not cruel) in the way it held her captive in this Castle That Never Was. She was held captive by other means as well, but it didn't compare to the way she would wait in her room for that visit by her thorny vine of roses.

And when he did come, he purred nonsense words into her ears, the deep, rich sound of his voice filling her head. The scent of a thousand velvet petals graced his skin, and every time he was near her she would soak it up with her nose. He would hurt her with the things he said, but the way his pink locks tickled her cheeks was enough to make her forget the pain until after he had gone from her room.

In all honesty to herself, Namine realized the danger she was in; that's why she wanted Sora to save her. But part of her knew he couldn't,_ really shouldn't_, and probably wouldn't. Marluxia reminded her of this fact, and it brought her violet blue eyes nearly to tears. But when her eyes did gloss over and water up, the tall pink-haired man would just lift her chin up, forcing her to star directly at his periwinkle blue orbs.

"Shed no tears, my pet," he'd say before sweeping her small, fleshy lips into a warm kiss.

She would always turn into an obedient dog when he spoke like that; she would stop crying and melt her lips into his, trying not to be bothered by the licking tongue he would occasionally slip into her mouth.

Every time he kissed her, she never full relaxed, as much as she wanted to. The small blonde's shoulders would never slack, her thin hands never loosen up from fists, and her eyes never completely closed. She had to be careful and alert when it came to Marluxia; he was a very dangerous man, after all.

Once, only once, when Sora had been in the Castle (but floors away), Marluxia promised her something while scanning her frame with his hands as he sat up against the wall on the floor with her sitting between outstretched legs.

"We can be happy together if you do something for me," he told her in his persuasive voice.

"Like what?" she murmured, staring off at the white table across the room, her eyes jumping from color to color of her pencils scattered on the surface. Idly, she wished she had her sketchbook in her arms so that she may squeeze it to release the tension that was growing in her.

"I want you to isolate Sora. Capture all his memories and put him to sleep. Not forever, mind you, but for a little while; then we can escape together, and I promise to love you."

A lump collected in her throat, catching her breath. "Love… me…?" A heat stung the back of her eyes, but she did not cry; they were only dry tears.

Behind her, she felt him nod. "For as long as a rose grows again every spring, I will love you. But if someone hacks down my roots, I cannot come back again for you. And do you know who that hacking flower-hater is?"

She shook her head, the tears she thought were dry daring to spill over. "No…"

"It's Sora, Namine. He wants to be rid of me like a weed. But I'm no weed, am I?"

Again she shook her head. "No…"

His grip around her waist tightens. "That's right. So will you do this for me, then? I'll keep my promise if you tell me you'll keep yours."

"But…" she offered, her face flushing. "When would I… and how? And then how will you…"

He smiled, leaning into her golden hair. She felt his breath on her scalp, warm and pressured. His nose trailed down as he kissed the back of her neck at the base of her head. She let out an 'ah!' before he said, "Let me worry about how I will do things. But as for you, my pet; well, I think you can figure it out. You're such a smart, pretty little girl. You'll figure it out," he repeats.

She closes her eyes as he pulls back to lean against the wall. Timidly, Namine follows, her slim body falling against his black cloak. She wanted to say something, maybe a protest, maybe an agreement, but no words formed in her still lumpy throat. But Marluxia didn't mind, and if he did he didn't show it; he knew he had laid a heavy decision on her, and expected nothing less than this silence as her reaction.

"I can love you…" he murmurs, stroking her hair with one hand, the fingertips of his other barely touching her thigh as it rested on his knee. "Because even we have emotions, despite our lack of hearts."

She wanted to believe him, wanted to have the love his was contributing, and wanted to make that promise. The thing holding her back was the sense of compassion and way of being smitten with Sora. Wouldn't it hurt him to put him to sleep the way Marluxia suggests? Wouldn't Sora be angry when he woke up at whoever had done that to him? It seemed cruel to temporarily take his memories away, but she realized it was just as cruel to continue to mess with his memories to put herself in his heart. She was never there to begin with, really… It was Kairi that was in the brunette's heart.

Her tears came then, and she wept into Marluxia's lap, her figure cringing against him as it shook with sobs.

He didn't know why she cried, but he had his guesses. In an almost kind way, he held her and steadied her, breathing out, "I won't make you, would never make you do something that was cruel," he said, as if reading her mind. She sniffed, trying to slow her tears. He whispered careless words into her hair behind her right ear, things about how much he wanted to look after her always, to hold her and kiss her, to love her. She took those sweet nothings and stole them away, her crying ceasing.

But then he was standing up and walking away, off to do whatever it is he had to. She remained on the floor, her eyes puffy and red, her nose stuffed up. She sniffed a few times, a choked squeak coming from the back of her throat to her lips. He always left her this way, broken and alone.

And all he asked for was what she was best at: messing with people's memories.

But could she really do it? When it came down to it, she really couldn't. Part of her doubted Marluxia would keep his promise, and that same part of her knew that Sora would. He always keeps his promises. Bitterly, she drew a picture of herself split in two, one half of her shining white body shredding into a Marluxia she drew to her left, while the other was swirling softly into a Sora she drew to her right. One was a peaceful merge, the other a war-torn one.

The symbolism, she realized, showed how her love was pure for one and contorted for the other, and how sweet and true one man was compared to the other. It was then, she decided, that even if she could never be loved by Sora, she still didn't want the form of love Marluxia gave to her. It was nice while it lasted, but he would always leave. Sora would never leave; since he loved Kairi, Namine knew she was always connected to him by thin fishing-line strings.

The next time Marluxia came, it broke her chest to show him the picture she drew. "For a while," she explained in her mousy voice, "I couldn't choose. But I'm sure now. I…" she drifted off, her eyes glossing over as tears welled up. "I…" she tried again. Finally a voice came to her, and she told the older man: "I can't do that to Sora. You can promise to love me all you want, but I can't promise to do what you asked. I'm sorry… so sorry…"

He was disappointed, if not a little angry. Part of him wanted to smack her, grab her flimsy arms and shake her, wanted to force her to do what he asked so that he could be rid of Sora. But the other part was in control of him then, and that was the part that scooped her up into an embrace and whispered, "Shed no tears… I will still love you anyway…" into her ear.

She blushed and clung to his broad shoulders, letting her feet dangle in the air. He was so strong, and she was so light, that she just hang a foot or two off the ground in his arms, and she told herself not to cry. "But… I won't still love you…" she told him, hardly audible.

He snapped, plunking her down and staring at her with cold eyes. "Why not?" he demanded from her.

"Because… because…" she tried to say, but couldn't think of why. Oh, she wished she hadn't said anything. Oh, she wished she were still being held.

"Why, Namine?" he asks, softer, calmer. "Why won't you love me anyway?"

"I… can't…" she breathed, her voice squeaking at "I" and fading by "n't". There was a blanket of silence that fell between them, and distantly she could hear Sora talking to Donald and Goofy. _He was here._

"So that's it then, is it?" Marluxia said, turning around fiercely and opening the door. "Time to face Sora, it seems." Glancing back, he said, "If I become nonexistent after fighting him, at least promise me you won't weep over me."

She looked up at him, shocked, her mouth in a parted oval. She bowed her head after a moment. "Okay… I promise."

He grunted before shutting the door hard and fast behind him.

He always left her this way, depressed and alone. But this time, she didn't cry.


End file.
